Daily Archives: October 20, 2010

Daft Questions

3D Character and Question Mark

Image by 姒儿喵喵 via Flickr

People ask many questions on a daily basis, but they never seem to stop and just listen to themselves.
There are so many stupid questions floating around out there that I had to compile this list of 6 Daft Questions.

Daft Questions:

1. Can I ask you a question?

How exactly am I supposed to respond to this question? I, at the moment, have a boy in my class who has recently developed the habit of starting a question by asking this question. Gag me please!

2. Do you know what?

If I knew what, why would you be asking me? What is the point of a question questioning your knowledge when the enquirer knows that you do not know because generally this is followed by an observation on the current topic of conversation. An observation which you yourself have not yet made. Gag me again please!

3. Do you know what s/he did?

Yet again, if you are in the process of telling me because you know I was not in the location of the action, why the hell would I know what s/he did?

4. Where are you going?

There is generally a reason when somebody does not tell you where they are going.
“I am on the way to remove my underpants from my crack. Would you like to accompany me? I could really use the support.”

5. Mr. Gray, can I talk to you?

You have just proven that you have the capacity to engage in conversation with me. Why ask if you are capable of such a thing?
(This only tweaks me on days like today though…)

6. How are you?

People don’t really care how you are when they ask you this. The thing that gives this truth away is the fact that they will ask as they are either walking or running right past you. What is the point of asking if you don’t really understand the crux of your question? Just say hello.

Think about the words that are leaving your mouth and infecting the ears of your victim before you talk!

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Ah, to be a teacher

Stop that!
Take that out your mouth!
Be quiet!
Stop touching her!
Focus!
Pay attention!
What did I just say?

What are you doing?
Who said you could do that?
Stop TALKING!
Do I get paid to speak to the walls?
Did I not ask you to read?
Leave him alone!

Because I said so!
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think I am?
Why have you not done your homework?
That’s not funny!
Just sit down for 5 minutes, PLEASE!

Leave me alone,
I need a drink,
It’s a wonder they don’t call me mommy.